Oh, the lies I've told...

Most of you know that I can only halfway-catch steelhead.  The tales I've told about hooking the shiny sons-of-biscuits, but not landing them are nearly legendary.

Well, every one of them, every single one, has been a lie.

My local rivers have looked sterile all year.  This spot, that spot, the most likely spot?  Not so much as a ripple has marred their mirror-like surfaces.  I've looked early in the morning.  I've looked just before dark.  I watch like a hawk when I take the dogs for a swim.

Not a sign of fish.  Not of any kind of fish, no matter how small.  Nothing.

Last week I wandered up to the Hatchery to ask those fellows if there's a problem with the rivers.  They know me - they've had to put up with me for years - and I trust them to tell me the truth.

"Good sir," I said, "I have fished the First Landing for years and have always been able to make a fast dash and catch a rainbow trout or two to keep me happy.  This year, there's nary a dimple on the surface to be seen... has something happened?"

"What?"

Obviously, they aren't used to me being polite, so I repeated the question:

"I haven't seen signs of a rainbow trout this year," I repeated, patiently.  "Is something wrong?"

"You've never seen signs of rainbow trout, you ninny!"

It seems ODFW takes the position that there are no trout in these rivers.  Oh, there's a small run of cutthroat between the salmon run and the steelhead run, but other than that, no trout.

"But, but.."  I'm sure my jaw dropped open and my eyes glazed over.  "I've caught hundreds of then over the years..."

Apparently not.  According to the experts at the Hatchery, I've never caught a trout but I have made a few hundred steelhead smolts late to arrive at the ocean.

Thus, I need to rewrite every steelhead post I've ever made, revise every email, apologize for every conversation.

I have caught too many steelhead to count.  I suck at catching trout.

SIGH

You're a fisherman, Tinker. In Texas, you'd be lumped into the list of not fit for jury duty just like used car salesmen. (Professional liar)
 

I'll admit to chasing smolts down river under the guise of cutthroat fishing. 

Thanks for the chuckle!
-Mark-

You're welcome.  "Always leave them chuckling" is my motto, starting today.